Mixtapemotions

  • "Dead Man's Dollar" by Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness, Thursday, January 13, 2021

     

    Let’s return to Death of a Salesman from yesterday’s post. In 1948 Arthur Miller encapsulated the problems with the American dream long before Leave it To Beaver was even on television. This was supposed to be the time that America was great. War War II had ended and men and women were back to work. Life in America was truly modern. The urban move led Americans to suburbia where they could fill their homes with radios, the latest home appliances, and televisions. Life looked more like today than Little House on the Prairie. Yet, Arthur Miller’s work stands in the center of the good ol’ days begging the questions: “Does my work make me who I am?”; “How many toys must I have until I’ve arrived?”; “Should I have to work myself into an early grave in order to finance my family’s happiness?” “How can I take care of myself to keep the money making machine going?”; “Does this cultivated, domesticate human existence fulfill me?” 
    I WANT TO MAKE A LIFE FOR YOU… *Spoiler alert* The last sentence in Death of a Salesman as the family lays Willy Loman in the ground, Linda, Willy’s wife tells her dead husband that they made their last mortgage payment. The chorus of former Jack’s Mannequin singer’s “Dead Man’s Dollar” reminded me of Willy Loman today. There are two readings of Death of a Salesman that I believe have merit. One is workaholism. It’s very American to read the play this way. It tells us “you want it, work for it. But I don’t want to hear your whining.” The other interpretation is the need for social intervention, which America has been stunted in government programs.


    ..BUT I WANT TO LIVE THERE TOO.. It turns out having an album out today pulls in close to no revenue. Many bands broke up after 2008 because the economy crippled the music industry. CDs sales disappeared and bands had to live on the road. Bands that are still around and not on the level of the Foo Fighters, take to multiple streams of income. More and more the bands that are still around are around because they have a compulsion to make music. The line of work they have chosen may pay big or not at all. It may pay big but the hours you put into it make the pay less than minimum wage. Let’s not just cry over the hardships of rock stars. What about ordinary people? The American Dream is spreading around the world. Different governments make it easier or harder for their citizens to achieve their dreams. In some countries people work 16 hours a day and others from 9 to noon. Meanwhile in America the essential workers can’t pay their bills. It’s only a matter of time people will stop doing those jobs if they can. Oh that got dark. Enjoy the song.

  • "Automatic" by Starflyer 59, January 12, 2021

    Arrogance is the one trait that will kill any chance of a relationship. I can’t stand it. This song by Starflyer 59 takes us back to a time in national pride. Starting out with a reference to Arthur Miller’s 1949 work Death of a Salesman and alluding to Henry Kissinger, the Secretary of State serving under Richard Nixon, who was partially responsible for establishing U.S. trade with Communist China. I think that the level of arrogance talked about in the song’s lyrics have got to be satire, so I will refer to the the one who says the lyrics as the speaker rather than the singer. This arrogant speaker says he’s “right most of the time” and “a messenger like Kissinger,” yet “only sees what [he] wants to see.”

    WHY I CHOSE THIS SONG: An infectious like a disco-era Pink Floyd or Queen (i.e. “Another Brick in the Wall” or “Another One Bites the Dust”) rock beat starts off this track, softening the blow of the arrogant lyrics. But on listening to this song with the events that have most recently transpired (march on the capitol) and having looked over some of the most egregious screen shots of posts shared on the indefinitely struck down social media platform, Parler. Threats of violence strewn through selective readings of the constitution and racial targeting left me feeling a little nauseous. Throughout the last five years, I saw the values of conservatism that I had placed in me from a young age erode. 

    I’M RIGHT MOST OF THE TIME: After reading short biographies of people that have been involved in the storming of the Capitol, I’ve noticed a very disturbing common personality trait. They are truly committed individuals who are blinded by a very narrow view of what it means to be American. They say they’ve lost faith in the democratic process, but support a militia take over of government. When pressed to give specific answers about whose votes count, they will discredit anyone from the other side. They use labels: socialist, communist, Muslims, BLM people, illegals, gays–whatever they can to establish an otherness. You can find non-white, non-Christians in this group of haters, but it seems that the revolution (Civil War 2?) that they are touting wouldn’t stop until they cut the fringes off. And they would keep cutting.

    THANKSGIVING DINNER WITH A RACIST UNCLE. Growing up in a very homogenous white working class family and culture, I feel like my growth was stunted in terms of diversity. I certainly have lots to learn still, but it’s shocking to go back home to North Carolina and hear the comments by family and friends. Things that may have been casual before now shock me. You sit down to dinner with your racist uncle and you realize he has the world’s problems solved in his own mind. Do you press him when you hear inconsistencies? Do you try to educate him on his blindspots? “You see [he’s] right most of the time. That’s the way [he] would self describe.”

    ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. The mainstream right has been eerily quiet since the events of last Thursday. Is it that they know that their ideals were brought to their logical conclusion? Is it that they’ve sacrificed ideals for power? I hope that everyone takes a minute to inspect the ideals they hold and will be challenged by others to look for inconsistencies. I’m a little scared to do that myself, but if we want to be logical, evolved beings, it’s essential.

  • THAT'S WHAT YOU GET~ Paramore, January 11, 2021

    Speaking of Christian music (refer to yesterday’s post), today’s song is by Paramore. Paramore may have never been a “Christian band,” but they certainly have been around the scene. Lead singer Haley Williams is both praised and scorned by the Christian scene for her take on faith. Their first album, which is admittedly their least ‘listenable’ record, played into an “are they or aren’t they?” bating that is so prevalent with the Tooth and Nail or other scene bands of the time. Riot, the band’s breakout second record started to quash the Christian labeling. Take for example the lead single, “Misery Business,” which is about getting revenge on another girl by stealing her man. Lyrics calling the other girl a “whore” and declaring “God, doesn’t it feel so good when I’ve got him where I want him.” Williams pushed things a little further on their third album in the song “Ignorance,” where she declared “The truth never set me free.” This caused some of the band members to split, as they wondered if the band had forsaken their Christian roots and gone too far. 

    THE HEART IS DECEITFUL above all things and beyond cure. Who can know it? Jeremiah 17:9. I think a lot of what Haley Williams reacts to in her music is Christian cliques that have been used to control young people. I grew up with a preacher’s voice in the back of my head telling me not to trust my heart. I took this saying to (pardon the overuse of the body part) heart. I was told not to trust my emotions. We have to use our minds to come to a rational conclusion. One way that this played out in many churches in the late 90s to today is purity culture. Purity culture is this highly developed teaching particularly in evangelical churches about the importance of saving virginity until marriage. Depending on the church, pastors and youth leaders could get very specific about what you should not do and there were often “accountability groups” to make everyone uncomfortable… 

    LEARNING TO TRUST MY HEART. One top of the sexual trauma of purity culture, learning to distrust my heart had many negative effects in my 20s. It completely killed my self esteem. In fact one of my professors said something to the effect of “we shouldn’t have self esteem because our value comes from God, not ourselves.” I tried to take so much of this to heart, but then I had to find a job. I was competing for teaching positions with other Adventists. And they didn’t seem to get the memo that they “they are worthless, but their worth only comes from God.” Perhaps I had missed something.

    WHO CAN KNOW IT? I’ve learned a lot and have shut out a lot of those voices. I think getting away from the weekly sermon from the same denomination has been the most liberating factor. I don’t think all of the preachers and teachers have impure intentions, but there does seem to be a “Great Chain of Being” level of control baked into Adventism as I know it. I’ve learned to trust what I want and what I need more and more. How easy it is to control children with a few verses. Still, I think if we look at this verse we can see a more nuanced view of the world. Who doesn’t think that their intentions are pure? Conviction doesn’t make something right. But I prefer to live by what speaks truth to me and what’s right for my mental health rather than what leaves me in dread and breaks my confidence.

    Yes, I’m straying from the song‘s lyrics, but I find this blog works out better when a song speaks something to me that day. Peace and love all. 

  • “Is This the Real Life?" by Emery, Sunday, January 10, 2021

    I have to admit I have a love-hate relationship with this band. I’ve been a listener to The BadChristian Podcast since 2015, but there’s something about their musical structure that I fail to resonate with most of the time. What The BadChristian Podcast did for me, though, was opened up a dialogue about faith beyond the Family Christian/Lifeway brand. I’m sure I’ll talk more about this as the year goes by. I’d like to talk about a few themes that this song brings to my mind.

    I STAY IN MY DREAMS, BUT I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. Reality is a theme that Matt and Toby talk about a lot on The BadChristian Podcast. How do we know that life isn’t just a simulation? How do I know that I am real? How do I know that you are real? Are you just a program in the simulation? Am I? I’ve spent a lot of time wondering about these things myself. We only really get one perspective in this life. And the human experience is at most 100 years out of thousands of years in earth’s history. I am one of 7.8 billion people alive today. Trillions have lived before me and trillions will live after me. I read somewhere that it only takes 3-4 generations to go by for you to be completely forgotten. That is unless you do something great or notorious, but even then only a small percentage of people will be educated enough to know about your dot on history only if it was significant enough. And I think about how I don’t know much about my great aunts and uncles. And even if we can see their names, we can’t know their daily lives and struggles unless they happened to keep a journal. And even if they did leave a journal, there are so many journals to read. With trillions of lives lived, who could ever have the time to appreciate all of them and move us forward as a species. And I’m going to stop starting my sentences with and.

    CALL IT TRASH, I CALL IT PEARLS. Another theme that always comes up with Emery, especially recently, is what is Christian music? The band continues to push the envelope in the definition of Christian music and Christian content for that matter. When I was growing up, there was Christian music and secular music. Of course secular could mean the Carpenters which was ok, but it could also mean Korn or Eminem. Christian music was a safe spot where you could buy just about any CD without parental objections, unless of course your parents were anti-rock music. There was no cursing, sex, or violence. There certainly were no naked people on the album cover. There were some anomalies to this. P.O.D. had album artwork reprinted. Evanescence and MuteMath sued to be taken out of the Christian bookstore and section. A few early Tooth and Nail bands contained strong language (the label wised up to the money-making opportunity to keeping a clean nose for the Christian bookstore). But in all of this heavy branding, how realistic was it to how adult Christians really acted? The Christian music industry promoted a lifestyle in the fans that many of the bands didn’t even realize that they were promoting. Emery comes along and breaks free of the bullshit and starts to question whether Christian music can be Christian without the censorship. And this journey continues on this album with its provocative cover.

    For a breakdown of this song, I will link to the Break It Down Podcast with Matt Carter. 

    Lyrics

  • “The Resistance” -anberlin, January 9, 2021

    Anberlin always opens up their albums with brute force. Their fourth album was no exception. Released in 2009 just after the Bush presidency, Anberlin was always low-key political. I discovered Anberlin while going to Christian school in Western North Carolina. Growing up as a Seventh-day Adventist, I felt an extra urge to be branded as an Evangelical. Peer pressure’s funny, isn’t it. Anberlin was always a step ahead of the Evangelical movement, though. They were an early adopter of the saying “not a Christian band” but a “band with Christians in it.” And Christian radio seemed to love it. Stephen also talked about how he didn’t believe the Genesis Creation account, and he also spoke out against the Bush administration and the Iraq war. Fast-forward to 2008. I’m in my first year of Seventh-day Adventist college. I preordered this album from the band’s merch table at Cornerstone. John McCain was running for president against Barak Obama. There was a conflict in the atmosphere–embrace hope and change while letting values slide or hold fast to the traditions and biblical values. This was the conflict I felt in every single class and with every single interaction. My Seventh-day Adventist college was way more diverse than my homogenous upbringing. Even in this microcosm in Eastern Tennessee, the world picked up more and more nuisance. And of course I was being challenged by the music of Anberlin and Switchfoot and started to listen to more and more secular music like Death Cab For Cutie and Franz Ferdinand. And yet, there was a nagging voice in the back of my head saying that I had to read the Bible in a certain way otherwise it was wrong. I’ll leave the story there.

    MUSICAL NOTES: This is an excellent album opener. We first hear crunchy guitars. Drums are added on the third bar and then a second guitar and the bass bring the intro to a climax and then adds the vocals. It’s one of my go to protest songs whenever I’m angry about something personal or political. I wonder if Anberlin was vocal about the Christian acceptance for the Bush administration, what would they be saying now if they hadn’t gone on hiatus in 2014. 

    WHY I CHOSE THIS SONG: Today Anberlin performed New Surrender for the first time in a livestream. The album received mixed reviews and not exactly loved by the band. Though disjointed, this album is still one of the albums that defined my life. I say that Cities is the finest album the band has ever made, and how can a band follow up their magnum opus? They must do something different. Cities was an album of darkness and gloom with a little hope to shine through. New Surrender was an album of embracing hope with a little bit of darkness keep us fighting for a better future. “The Resistance” reminds me that although America has chosen hope, there are still cages to unlock. There’s still darkness to fight. Let’s form the resistance.

  • “Far” by The Canopy Climbers, Friday, January 8, 2021

     

    Back in college and a little after I used to get a bunch of free music from NoiseTrade. This song was on 2012 Holiday Road Trip Mix. In the mix there were artists from different states. None of the songs in the mix are tailored to a particular holiday, and I find that this song works just as well in the spring or fall as much as the winter. I love to listen to this song as I walk. I picture it being the song that plays in the middle of a movie to speed up time to relevant points in a movie. It’s quite arrogant to think that my life is worthy of a movie, but I’m going to imagine the montage. First, listen to the song. And maybe read the lyrics.

    IF HOME IS WHERE MY HEART IS SAFE, WHY DO YOU LEAD ME AWAY? I’m walking home from work under the shade of the ginkgo trees. First it’s spring. The warm sunlight lights the sidewalk and the air is fresh. Traffic is crazy around me. Next it’s later spring. I’m carrying my jacket in my hands. The light is stronger. Next it’s summer and I’m in a short sleeve shirt button shirt, clean. The next shot I’m covered in sweat because it’s bloody hot, even though it’s six in the evening. Next light begins to shift and weaken. Fall is coming. The ginkgoes start turning yellow and the awful smelling fruit begins to drop. I play a game to avoid stepping on them. I lift my dress shoes to see if I stepped on any. The leaves start to thin more and more. Soon the trees are bare. The song slows down. Snow begins to fall. I shiver in a thin coat. “Where you lead, I will go” comes in. I’m in a thicker coat more sure of myself. “Where you go, I will will follow.” I’m looking at my phone and I slip on the ice. I catch my footing. A middle aged store owner is sweeping the sidewalk in front of his store. The snow starts piling up.

    THROUGH ALL THE NOISE AND THE LACK OF SILENCE. That was all cinematography and no story. However, if I every have the privilege to tell my story of Tyler becoming a competent teacher and falling in love and balancing his life and eventually making a difference doing something, you’d better believe that this song would be in the soundtrack. 

  • Cold Air-Acceptance, Thursday, January 7, 2021

    Last summer, Acceptance announced their comeback. The band released this song on June 18th and the video on July 2nd. It quickly became one of my most played songs of the year. I didn’t know what the song was about, but it was full of ’80s ambience. The lyrics were repetitive, but passionate. Then they released the video on July 2nd. The video shows four friends of different races standing around a bonfire, but as the video goes on we see that the friends burn old furniture including a map of the United States, on which is painted the words: “We Don’t Belong Here,” words that are part of the song’s chorus. After watching the video, I immediately thought about the Black Lives Matter riots that had been taking place at the time. Jason Vena released this statement to Spin magazine about the song:

    “‘The lyrics in ‘Cold Air’ present a snapshot of a community that is being broken apart by prejudice, indignation, and division. . . [i]t’s about having the strength to recognize change is necessary. We wanted the video to reflect this as well.’“


    DON’T IT FEEL LIKE THE FRONT LINES? I think rock music needs to do more toward diversity. Too often rock music is known as “angry white boy music,” and fueling this alienation makes the working and middle class white males feel like they are oppressed more than anyone else. The facts are quite the opposite. I’m not saying that there are no economical issues with poor white people. I’ve had those perspectives before. However, taking a step back from your own problems and looking at bigger issues, like systematic racism, will stop dividing us and work toward a more equal society. This has been my politically neutral stance; however, today was a turning point. 

    WE CAN’T SURVIVE HERE. The word unprecedented seems overused these days. I woke up to the news this morning that the U.S. Capitol had been invaded by MAGA supporters. The sight of Confederate flags in the Capitol made me sick. I spent my teenage years growing up in the South and learned some whack-a-doo history (not hate but heritage, the Civil War was about States rights not slaves); however, the Confederate flag is a symbol of division. It stands in contrast to the Union flag. The Confederacy has no place in the Capitol.  The Confederate flag in the White House was telling about Trump’s presidency. Black Lives Matter protests? Send the tanks. Lose an election? Let the people check Nancy Pelosi’s emails. In the U.S. black lives don’t matter. Kids of immigrants don’t matter. College loans don’t matter. Hundreds of thousands of people dying from COVID don’t matter. Being able to afford health care doesn’t matter. Democracy doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is the rich get to maintain their power.

    https://genius.com/Acceptance-cold-air-lyrics

  • "Brand New Day" by Kodaline, Thursday, January 6, 2021

    I was in coffee shop in Sinsa, a neighborhood near Gangnam in Seoul, when I first heard Kodaline. The Irish band’s debut album, In a Perfect World and the EPs containing different versions of songs from around that time were perfect for a cup of coffee. Subsequent albums have made the band sound like they were striving to be another Coldplay, but they got it right the first time on their debut. I’m recommending the acoustic version of “Brand New Day,” featuring Nina Nesbitt.


    I WANNA TRAVEL THE WOLD, BUT I JUST CAN’T DO IT ALONE. The lyrics of “Brand New Day” talk about “outgrowing your hometown” and wanting to “travel the world” with someone. As someone who could be said to be (still) on that journey, I remember the feelings of travel thirst. I got to the end of my bachelor’s degree and thought about the constraints of going back home to North Carolina. I thought about how it would be a few years of struggle in a career before buying a house. I thought about my very few trips overseas and how I wanted to get out of America and experience other cultures. I wanted to get away from the people I knew and form new patterns and figure out who I am. So many friends who were older than me told me to do it. “When you settle you get roots, and it’s much harder to leave when you have the responsibilities of a mortgage and kids.” So I went to South Korea. And I started building roots here. It’s not exactly what I had in mind, but I’m enjoying life and learning something new every day that my younger self would never foresee myself doing.

    WE COULD BE BIG IN JAPAN. While it’s nice to be nostalgic, this song also pushes me forward, but not in a way that makes me question my life decisions (have you really quenched your travel thirst?). It’s a brand new year full of possibilities. I felt that way last year and was off to a good start around this time. What’s different? I know how crappy things can get. We’re still in the middle of a pandemic. There’s hope of a vaccine, but anything else could go wrong. But I start to think about the things that I have control over. I may not be able to go home to America for a while or travel to other countries, but I have my teaching skills. I can work on my goals. I can truly embrace my introverted nature and be creative (at home!). I’m waiting on a brand new day, but I’ve got a plan b until it stops raining.

    Album version Music Video/ Acoustic version featuring Nina Nesbitt:

  • Believer by Cyn, January 5, 2021

     “Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!”

    Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.’” (John 20:28, 29)

    MISSIONARY POSITIONS: Before work, I listened to this song and then I overheard a conversation at work. I work with two very different coworkers. I will call them Philosopher and Church Lady. They normally are civil to each other, but there are times that they can be slightly antagonistic about their beliefs. Today was one of those days. The discussion somehow came upon similarities between Buddhism and Jesus’s teachings. The Philosopher said, “There’s talk that Jesus spent some of his years in India.” To which, Church Lady said flatly, “No, the Bible doesn’t say that.” “But some people believe this…” “They’re wrong. The Bible is clear.” “No, it’s not. What happened during the missing years?” “Jesus went to the temple. He ‘grew in wisdom, stature, and in favor with God and men.’” Back and forth and back and forth. 

    MAKE ME A BELIEVER: This song is not about faith in God, but about faith in love. But the metaphor bated me. I thought about the evangelist’s dream of an agnostic who doesn’t believe but could be persuaded. Church folks “hungry for souls” would descend upon this person and make her a believer. I grew up evangelistic series after series pulling in lots of people for usually a short time. Usually these people 1) were of some similar religious background 2) had some kind of need that they found was satisfied with the church 3) and didn’t examine nuanced issues about science, race, politics, sexuality, or gender, and when they did, they didn’t stick around. 

    THE HERESY OF QUESTIONING: Jesus told Thomas, blessed are those who believe who have not seen, and I wonder more and more what that means. I once heard that Jesus didn’t actually scold Thomas for wanting proof. In many ways we all need proof for whatever we believe. I believe that people truly have faith in nothing. I was raised as a Christian and I believe many of the tenants and have shed others, but a large part of that is having grown up in a faith tradition. I’m not sure if I’m part of the blessed who believe without seeing because in many ways I have experience God. But I tend to side more with Philosopher than Church Lady because I can’t answer the question, nor do I think it’s relevant to say that someone else’s experience in another faith tradition is invalid.

    LIVE YOUR TRUTH: Ultimately, I want to live in a way that is positive for myself. I want to support others in their believe or non-belief. Whatever puts more love out into the universe is what I believe in. 

    But seriously, isn’t this song a banger?

  • “Futures” by Jimmy Eat World, Monday, January 4, 2021

    Let’s call this part two of yesterday’s post. I’d like to quote a few lines and dissect them. This is my view imposed on the song. “Why is it so hard to find the balance/ between the cold and real?” I started to think of this song as the futures contract market. I don’t really have a mind for economics, but as far as I can tell the futures contracts are bid on in hopes that the venture will make money and that the economy will be good. But it doesn’t always work out, like the housing crisis in 2008 or the current pandemic. Future markets bid on the fact that the economy is going to be as good as it is as the time the venture starts. Throw in a few misguided or bad actors who have access to our pension and retirement funds (Enron?) and we get ourselves into a real problem. 

    HOPE FOR BETTER, IN NOVEMBER. I get very depressed whenever I think about money. My generation is pretty screwed and all I can rely on is keeping a job and making the payments to pay off my student loans. I’m thankful for my job teaching English overseas, but it seems so unlikely that I will be able to teach middle or high school in America and have the nice things I have here. The American system is broken, and it’s left my generation broke. This song is political. At the time of its release, The Bush administration was allowing big business to screw with our futures, cut our jobs, and give themselves a raise. Three years later the housing crisis happened. Change hands with Obama, and now there’s Trump. Nothing changes. The middle class gets smaller and smaller. 

    SAY HELLO TO GOOD TIMES. Jimmy Eat World is a pop-punk band with a political message. Peaking in 2001 with their album Bleed American ( which was omitted from the cover post-9/11) and followed up with Futures, Jim Atkins talk politics without being preachy–unlike me in the first few paragraphs. Many say that rock is dead. Generation Z is killing rock. That may be true, but the breeding for punk (and literature for that matter) is stronger than ever. Income disparity will keep punk rock alive.