Mixtapemotions

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Anchor & Braille, Saturday, December 24, 2022 (repost)

 

“I~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I. Don’t want a lot for Christmas.” *struggles to change the radio dial amid gridlocked holiday traffic* “There’s just one thing I need” *hurry up with my damn latte! I think I’m going to die. Why the hell is Starbucks playing Christmas music in mid-October?* “I don’t care about the presents” *internal Elaine monologue ‘I think I’m going to die in this department store. Ma’am, why must you spray the perfume so close to my face. I can’t breathe! What if the earth begins to shake and we’re stuck in here forever underneath mannequins and holiday shoppers and that damn Mariah Carey song stuck on repeat?’* “Underneath the Christmas tree” “No” *raising a strict finger to students who should be studying in the back* “Not before Thanksgiving.” “I just want you for my own/ More than you could ever know.” Every year, Christmas music gets earlier and earlier. “Make my dreams come true.” Corporate America wants to put us in credit card debt. “All I want for Christmas” Call me Scrooge, but I’d like to go back to childhood when Christmases were magical. “Is” If only we could go back in time to say, 199~ “You~~~~~~~~~” That’s it! 1992! before this song ruled the world.


Meme from last year

ALL THE LIGHTS ARE SHINING EVERYWHERE. Two Christmases ago, Stephen Christian recorded his daughter’s favorite Christmas song, releasing it as an Anchor & Braille song. All of those emotions listed above are my feelings about Mariah Carey’s 1994 hit, “21st Century ‘White Christmas.’” “All I Want for Christmas Is You” may be overplayed, overrated, and more contagious than the Omicron variant and extremely meme-able. We can wear our earplugs into stores, and we can blast the latest Taylor Swift or Adele albums in our noise-canceling AirPods Pro, but the infection rate is close to 100% that you will have this song stuck in your head at some point during the holiday season. I was stricken by the bug today when I turned on A Very Tooth & Nail Christmas on Apple Music. Try as I might, Mae‘s “Carol of the Bells” or Copeland‘s “Do You Hear What I Hear?” and not even Anberlin’s “Baby Please Come Home” stuck in my head as I stepped out for lunch this afternoon. It’s the Christmas season, so I wondered how this song would fit into my playlist this year? I wondered how Christmas music would fit in or if it would, this year. I thought about how un-Christmasy this year feels. And then it struck. The ear virus didn’t come in the form of Michael Bublè, Ariana Grande, or Justin Bieber (thank God!). It didn’t come in the hilarious mashup of the isolated vocals of Radiohead’s “Creep” surrounded by the festive sleigh bells and outrageous piano and backup singers of “All I Want for Christmas Is You.” It wasn’t the pretty-good-but-not-great House of Heroes cover. It didn’t come by seeing a meme about the song. Instead, it came from one of my favorite singers doing a slowed-down rendition, taking the energy of Carey down to be a Christmas song for the exhausted rest of us. 


I DON’T NEED TO HANG MY STOCKING. Am I being too harsh on the holiday classic? Critics loved the song when it came out. If I were writing a blog in 1994, maybe I would have appreciated the musical elements–the throwback to old Christmas songs, the unique chords, the imitation of a wind-up Christmas music box–but in 2021, I’m too desensitized to whatever musical point Carey was trying to make. To me, Christmas music, the more traditional the better. There is something so much more magical about a small church singing on a snowy evening hymn from the 1800s than Bing Crosby singing in the ’40s. When I was growing up, several CCM Christmas albums captured an old-time Christmas–whether it was Michael W. Smith‘s Christmastime  or the artists who sang on the City on a Hill Christmas project. There was something about the 20th-century Christmas songs that just sounded like shopping. And they were done to death–disco, punk, soul, pick a genre. My old soul, though, has to cope with a commercialized holiday, so Anchor & Braille is as good a place as ever to start. December’s playlist isn’t exclusively Christmas songs and won’t be from here on out, but as the season picks up, I guess we should address the drop in temperature, the new flavors at Starbucks, the decorations at the department stores, the new specials on Netflix–even if it all seems a little forced.
 

Anchor & Braille version:



House of Heroes version: 

“Creep but It’s All I Want for Christmas Is You” Radiohead/Mariah Carey Mashup: