Mixtapemotions

"Blue" by Taeyeon (updated repost) trigger warning: discussion of suicide, Wednesday, March 22, 2023

When March comes, it either appears as a lion or a lamb.  I’ve also taken a more superstitious meaning to this saying. In Korea, it’s the beginning of the school year; however, March 1st is a national holiday. Will the school year start out smoothly or with its own set of thundershowers? If it starts out smoothly, is trouble ahead? So much uncertainty leans on this temperamental spring month as the air warms, clashing with Arctic blasts. And if you throw climate change into the mix, who knows what we’re going to get? March is almost half over and I wonder if it started like a lamb or a lion? And more importantly will it get calmer or more chaotic?


WHEN I GET FARTHER AWAY, MY SIGHS GROW DEEPER. Taeyeon is one of the most successful female solo artists in Korea. From her start with the bubblegum pop girl group Girls’ Generation, she’s not the only singer to find success after the ending of her group. In 2019, Taeyeon bravely explained to her fans that she was battling depression. She had lost many fellow friends and colleagues to suicide in the years prior as many K-pop group members took their lives. Taeyeon’s admission that she too was battling depression broke rank with her training as a K-pop idol, which involves years of cultivating young stars’ images. K-pop singers have to be branded to appear fun and flirty, but innocent. They shouldn’t take stands in controversies. Lyrics also shouldn’t be controversial. And while American pop music gets political and deals with issues like sexism, homophobia, and depression, sad songs in K-pop tend to deal only with the sadness of a break-up, like the lyrics of this song. 

I CALL YOUR NAME, BUT THERE’S NO ANSWER. Looking at the bigger picture, Taeyeon’s revelations of her battle with depression has the potential to start a long overdue conversation on the topic of suicide in Korean society. As of 2016, the World Health Organization listed South Korea as the 10th highest suicide rate in the OECD. In a country with some of the best, affordable healthcare in the world, a cut-throat world of competition is often the culprit leading teens and adults to take their own lives. Teenagers face pressure to do well on a single test to enter university. How they score on that test determines what opportunities they will have in the future. Will they live the Korean or American dream? Own a nice apartment in Gangnam, work for Samsung, and marry a beautiful or handsome spouse and have 1.5 children? Or will they be stuck in a small town delivering chicken to the ones who scored better on this test? The world of K-pop is also fiercely competitive. So many kids want to be a K-pop singer, but not all of them have the look. So mom and dad spend money on plastic surgery and put them on diets. K-pop stars train for their late teens and early ’20s for a future that’s not certain. Not every group makes it big. And only the wildly successful SHINees and GIRLS’ GENERATIONs can maintain fame into their 30s. Most stars will age out of music. And while depression is not an easy topic to talk about or listen to, it’s important to drop the facade that everything is okay, before it’s too late. 

If you struggle with depression, talk to a trained specialist in your country. Seoul Counseling Center offers counseling in Korean and English and is located in Seoul and Pyeongtaek, South Korea. Also, checkout the crisis hotlines.