Mixtapemotions

  • “Someday” by Aaron Sprinkle ft. Matty Mullins + Real Life Track by Track, Friday, November 10, 2023

    In 2017, Aaron Sprinkle released Real Life, his last release on Tooth & Nail Records. The legendary producer had released solo work sporadically since the ‘90s; however, being the go-to producer for some of the most successful bands in Alternative and Hard Christian Rock was time-consuming, and Sprinkle felt that producing great records was more successful than trying to promote a solo career. Sprinkle’s production always felt cutting-edge when he recorded, whether for Anberlin, Acceptance, Demon Hunter, Falling Up, or a host of other bands. Real Life, however, feels very 2017. Today, let’s explore the album, track by track.

    1. Invincible kicks off the album with that 2017 electronic sound. Featuring Poema’s Elle Puckett contributing a spoken-word/ rap part, the song sounds nothing like what you’d expect from either artist. The lyrics seem to be the speaker coming to realize that he is not invincible. Puckett tries to convince the first speaker that he never needed to be invincible. The song sets the tone for the album of dreams that didn’t work out, but ultimately it’s about redefining dreams for a new future.

    2. “Washed Up” isn’t a particular stand-out track, despite being the second track. Unlike the first track, though, the synth feels more like a classic ‘90s sound. The speaker of the song wishes to be “washed up on the shore” rather than fighting with the tides of the ocean. In Sprinkle’s interviews from this time, particularly on Labeled and BadChristian, now Songs and Stories, we have some context that Sprinkle had been dealing with the struggles of a shrinking music industry. Production budgets shrunk, but producers still had to deliver quality albums. Real Life is a walking away album, and Sprinkle is trying something new, but he ultimately feels “washed up.”

    3. “Never Alone” is a catchy pop song. It feels like it’s missing something to make it a great song. Maybe it’s the programmed drums on “Head back down to Easy Street” that could have been replaced with real drums to make the song come to life. “Never Alone” is repetitive in a kind of annoying 2017 way. The bridge’s harmonies feel like an early ‘90s song. The lyrics add to the theme of the album, encouragement during the uncertain times.


    4. “Real Life” starts off with Eisley’s Sherri DuPree Bemis singing the hook. Her husband, Max Bemis of Say Anything also contributes to the chorus of the song. The song is clunky–the lyrics don’t really flow. The bombastic “Chainsmokers” sound doesn’t really work. It’s a shame, too, not only because it’s the namesake of the album, but it’s a waste of a collaboration. The verses are just a series of dependent clauses that don’t say much. Sherri sings “Save my birthright ‘til I’m feeling up again,” presumably alluding to scripture, but what does it mean? My poor interpretation of the song is that the lyrics are the voices inside the speaker’s head. Sherri represents the wild idea that you can push pause on your life. Aaron brings back the voice of reasoning that “This is real life” and we can’t do that. Max sings “This is real life as I capsize,” perhaps meaning that being brought back to the fact that “this is real life” triggers a catastrophizing response. 


    5. “Not Listening” isn’t a song I come back to. It’s not lyrically interesting, and it’s musically simple. The best part of the song is the synths decorating the song between the choruses and the verses. 


    6. “Someday.” I talked about this song back in 2021, so I’ll link to the discussion there. While Memphis May Fire and Matty Mullins’ career was post-Tooth & Nail golden age, the recent announcement that Mullins would be touring as Anberlin’s touring singer in 2024 only grafts the singer more into the Sprinkle-verse. 


    7. “Steady” brings back the retro synths. It’s one of the better tracks on the album, but not particularly interesting. The bridge is probably the best part of the song.


    8. “I Don’t Know Who You Are” features singer Stephanie Skipper, best known for appearing on the 14th season of The Voice. Before she appeared on the show, she released albums on Gotee Records. She also is part of the duet Copperlily with her husband, Tim Skipper, best known as the bassist for House of Heroes. 

    The song is not very memorable on the album, though.


    9. “Step Here” is my favorite track on the album. I talked about the song last November. It is the song that most reminds me of a ‘90s computer game, and with the orchestra hit, it makes me think of some of the music from my mom’s ‘90s Yamaha keyboard. 


  • “Can’t Go Home” by The Juliana Theory (repost), Thursday, November 9, 2023

    Thomas Wolfe is most famous for his novel You Can’t Go Home Again which is a tome that I haven’t read. However, I did read his first novel, Look Homeward, Angel, which deals with similar themes. I picked up the book in the middle of a semester from hell and an existential crisis. I found Wolfe’s descriptions of Southern life–the people in town and family members, the scenery, and the food–so comforting. The mostly autobiographical novel is nostalgic, but the protagonist, Eugene’s academic pursuits push him to see the world outside of the isolated mountain town of Altamont (Asheville).

    DEFER TOMORROW. The Juliana Theory is a band whose influence far exceeds its success. Formed as the side project of Brett Detar, the guitarist of the Christian metal band Zao, when he wanted to incorporate the catchiness of radio rock bands like Third Eye Blind that the metal band listened to in van on tour, The Juliana Theory became a legendary band in the pop-punk scene. The Juliana Theory was the first general-market Tooth & Nail band, which Detar talks about on the band’s episode of the Labeled podcast, saying that being a non-Christian band on a mostly-Christian label caused the band to be neglected when it came to marketing. However, the band did transition to Epic Records, but after commercial failure, the band broke up in 2006. But like so many legendary bands, that wasn’t the end of the story. The Juliana Theory was one of those COVID groups that decided to try a DIY approach to make new music. First, it was today’s song, “Can’t Go Home,” then “Better Now,” which was included on a project of reworked songs from the band’s career. This year, the band released an EP of nostalgic pop-punk tracks called Still the Same Kids Pt. 1. “Can’t Go Home” perfectly captures the new sound of The Juliana Theory. There are clear ties to the past sound—the driving bass and guitar. But newer pop hooks, campfire-sounding songs, and a little bit of gospel make the song infectious. 

    THE ONLY CERTAIN IS WE CAN’T GO HOME. The Juliana Theory’s lead single from Still the Same Kids Pt. 1 is an equally nostalgic track called “Playback ‘99 (Burn the Cassette Deck).” The song’s lyrics focus on all the greatness of the late ‘90s. But one of the most interesting things about that song is the varying tempo, mimicking a faulty cassette tape. The Juliana Theory has grown as musicians. It’s not the same band from the early ‘00s, and that’s what “Can’t Go Home” is all about. In 2022, many of us are longing to get back to 2019. Many of us hold a nostalgia for a pre-pandemic world, and we’re frustrated when things aren’t returning to normal. “Can’t Go Home” assumes that things aren’t going back. We have to move on and move forward. Besides, I recall in 2019 longing for things to go back to normal like they were pre-President Trump. Maybe we’re always searching for what makes us feel safe. Maybe we’re always living in the past, but the truth is, we can’t go home.


  • "In the Cold" by Acceptance, Wednesday, November 8, 2023 + Chilly Playlist
























    I can’t explain this well, but there are some songs that give me a feeling for particular weather. I associate songs with seasons, even if the lyrics have nothing to do with that season. As the weather has gotten chilly lately, I wanted to create a playlist of songs that give me a warm feeling by somehow building a cold atmosphere first, especially for the mid-Autumn.  If this playlist makes no sense to you, I’m sure you’re not alone. But maybe it does. I hope that it brings you warmth.



  • “Boston" by Augustana (updated repost), Tuesday, November 7, 2023













    Nothing beats the foliage in the American Northeast. However, being the first week of November, the colors peaked a few weeks ago, and now the trees are looking bare. When I was young, growing up in Central New York, when the leaves came off the trees, it meant a long winter was on the way. One year we got snow on Halloween, which lasted until April. New England is romanticized in America, from movies to books to magazines and even a few songs. 


    BOSTON, WHERE NO ONE KNOWS MY NAME. In Season One of The Big Bang Theory, Leonard is moping after his love interest, Penny, starts seeing another man. He comes into the apartment singing Augustana‘s  “Boston,” quite horribly. “Boston” is Augustana’s signature song. It was a Top 40 hit on the Billboard’s Hot 100 and a top 10 Adult (light rock) hit. The band formed at Greenville University, a conservative Christian college where Jars of Clay formed before them and Paper Route after them.  While the two other bands were comfortable with the Christian circuit, Augustana’s lead singer, Dan Layus, talks about breaking free from the strict rules of Christian college and choosing not to be a Christian band. “Boston” is not only a breakup with a lover, but a place too. If you’ve never moved to a city where no one knows you, it’s freeing. You possess the ability to rebuild your reputation and become whomever you want to be. I’ve done this several times in my life, sometimes by choice and sometimes out of circumstance. When my family moved to North Carolina in 1998, my parents only knew one family there. They ended up moving a year later. My mom was tired of the New York weather and she wanted to be closer to her family in Florida. So we moved between the two sides of my family. Then there was high school. My parents wanted my sister and I to go to a Christian school, but they chose one outside of our denomination because it was much cheaper. Then it was time for college. I decided to go to a Seventh-day Adventist university in Tennessee where I only had a few acquaintances. And then there was Korea. But in all of this moving to a city where no one knows my name, I was still stuck in the rut of the person I thought I should be.

    I’LL GET OUT OF CALIFORNIA, I’M TIRED OF THE WEATHER. No one ever moves to the Northeast because they are tired of Southern California weather. Tyson Motsenbocker talks about his Southern California life as a place “where the seasons never change.” My family moved away from it. In music and literature, California sometimes symbolizes the land of Canaan for humanity. Going to California means you’ve made it or are closer to making it. You have shed off the Puritan ways of the East Coast. Yet this song shows and interesting regression, as if to says, I’ve had all of the new and it’s left me empty. I’m going back to enjoy the tradition of a city that used bricks and cobblestone rather than asphalt. This image is especially strong today because, as the new school year has started, new students always ask where I’m from. I have to educate them about American geography. Before I tell my students where I am from, I ask if any students have been to America and where they visited. From there, I’m able to compare what places look like. Certainly the feeling of Boston is a stark contrast from California. LA feels different from San Francisco. Florida is different from North Carolina. Place matters, and if you have a choice, it’s important to find the right city for you.

    Read the lyrics on Genius.

  • “Breathe” by Sixpence None the Richer, Monday, November 6, 2023































    In the late ‘90s, one of the biggest Christian Rock groups had a song that couldn’t be played on Christian radio, despite the song becoming a number 2 Billboard Hot 100 hit. While some Christian bands either quietly or vocally broke with the Christian music industry, Sixpence None the Richer, despite having the song “Kiss Me,” a G-rated love song that happened to be nothing about God, collaborated relentlessly with other Christian artists, solidifying their spot in late ‘90s Christian music. During the band’s reign on the pop charts from the singles “Kiss Me” and the cover of The La’s’ “There She Goes,” the latter eventually released on a deluxe edition of their 1997 eponymous record; Sixpence None the Richer contributed to several Christian compilations. 


    I WILL RUN INTO YOUR ARMS AGAIN. On the second day of my New Year’s Day Project, I wrote about the song “I Will Rest in You” performed by Jaci Valesquez, which appeared on the compilation Streams. The collaborative album featured some of the biggest contemporary Christian artists. The album combines inspirational songs with orchestration by The Irish Film Orchestra. The album would probably be classified as New Age if it weren’t an explicitly Christian album. The album features pairings from both Christian and secular music, from Amy Grant and Delirious? to the Doobie Brothers’ Michael McDonald and Yes’ Jon Anderson. Streams features nine original songs and a cover of Peter Gabriel’s “Don’t Give Up.” These songs are immediately followed by a four-piece orchestral suite performed by The Irish Film Orchestra.


    THE AIR OF HEAVEN, DRAWING IN YOUR FRAGRANCE.  Sixpence None the Richer’s core members were vocalist Leigh Nash and guitarist/songwriter Matt Slocum, with Slocum writing most of the band’s songs. However, on Streams, today’s song “Breathe,” is credited to Nash and songwriters Michelle Tumes and John Mallory. Like “Kiss Me,” the lyrics of “Breathe” seem straightforward. The speaker is comparing someone, probably God, to the air. He provides her needs and she breathes him in. But explaining it feels, well, even more sensual than the band’s biggest hit. Many of the songs on Streams feel like that illustration of God being the ultimate lover. Jesus is some metaphysical lover, and the worship sounds like some of the most sensual love poetry. Certainly, the hymn writers of old would blush until they thumb through the Song of Solomon.


    Read the lyrics on Genius.













    Read the lyrics on Genius.
     

  • “Through It All” by Spoken, Sunday, November 5, 2023

    Six years after releasing their eponymous sixth album, Spoken released Illusion on E1 Records, a New York-based independent record label. The band began work on their 2013 album back in 2009, recording with Jasen Rauch. By their seventh album, Spoken had become a veteran band, having formed in 1996. The band’s rough recordings on Christian pop star Crystal Lewis’ label Metro One produced several hits for Christian hard rock radio such as RadioU. Of these recordings, only their 2000 record, Echos of the Spirit Still Dwell is available on Spotify and Apple Music. In 2003, the band signed with Tooth & Nail Records.

    I SAW THE STORM, FELT THE WINDS BEGIN TO CHANGE. With the partnership between Spoken and Tooth & Nail Records, the band developed their sound with bigger production budgets. The development of Spoken’s sound over the course of the three Tooth & Nail albums impacted the band until their most recent singles in 2020. Starting with the droll, mid-western rock sounds of A Moment of Imperfect Clarity, the band ventured into a popular-sounding post-hardcore, abandoning their Rage Against the Machine-inspired earlier music. Their 2005 follow-up Last Chance to Breathe crafted a tighter, albeit somewhat monotonous sound. The band shot a video for the song “Bitter Taste,” which featured Norma Jean frontman Cory Brandon, adding growling vocals to Spoken lead vocalist Matt Baird’s clean vocals on the chorus and higher-pitched screaming on the verses. While it was the more melodic single “September” that gained the most radio play for the album, “Bitter Taste” became the prototype for the next Spoken album, which only featured a few melodic, radio-ready songs.


    LOST ALL HER DREAMS IN THE OCEAN. Heavy Spoken didn’t play well on Christian Rock radio, although sonically Matt Baird’s intense screaming on key made the band’s self-titled album a quite satisfying listen. The band’s seventh album, Illusion, picks up where Spoken left off with the first songs “Stand Alone” and “Beneath the Surface” but quickly transitions back to melody on later tracks. Even the heaviest songs on Illusion have a singable chorus. Producer Jasen Rauch channels some of Red’s heavier moments as well as his other masterpiece, Love and Death’s Between Here and Lost in his production of Illusion. The lyrics to the lead single from Illusion, today’s song “Through It All,” are vague, but evoke scriptural metaphors of overcoming hardship. The chorus feels equally Daniel’s friends in the fiery furnace as much as the myth of the phoenix. It’s ultimately a song of hope, and perhaps it’s that hope that someone like Matt Baird needs when the music industry and his ability to make a living as a working musician shifts. Maintaining a modest following from 1996 is quite an impressive feat, especially when Spoken was a band that never had a time when they were the biggest band. It’s certainly an admirable endurance.  

    Read the lyrics on Genius.
     

  • “Window” by Out of Eden, Saturday, November 4, 2023

    In 1994, Toby McKeehan, better known as Toby Mac, founded the record label Gotee Records along with business partners Todd Collins and Joel Elwood. As one-third of the perhaps the most successful Christian Rock act ever, dc talk, McKeehan has also proven to be one of the top business minds in the Christian music industry since the formation of a record label that aimed to sign a diverse sound compared to what had been popular in mainstream, mostly white, Contemporary Christian Music.  Early Gotee signees included the reggae group Christifari, the alternative rock band Johnny Q. Public, the hip-hop duo GRITS, the singer-songwriter Jennifer Knapp, and pop-punk band Relient K. Today, we have a song from the first signee to Gotee Records, Out of Eden.


    WHEN ALL IS DARK, NO LIGHT TO SEE. Out of Eden is a trio of three sisters from Richmond, Virginia, who moved to Nashville with their mother, DeLise Perkins Kimmey Hall, after she divorced their father, Robert Kimmey. DeLise was offered a teaching position at the private historically black Fisk University in Nashville. Lisa, Andrea, and Danielle Kimmey sang backup for their mother, a classical pianist. Seeing their talent, their girls’ stepfather tried to get the sisters a recording contract. No label was interested in signing the Kimmey sisters until they met Toby McKeehan. The trio recorded six studio records with Gotee between 1994 and 2005. They released a greatest hits album in 2006 and haven’t produced music together since then. From their first album, Lovin’ the Day, which featured a cover of Bill Withers’ 1977 hit “Lovely Day,” Out of Eden was a success on both Gospel and Contemporary Christian radio. 


    I CAN FINALLY SEE THE LIGHT. Similar to how Billboard counts pop and R&B as a separate category, Christian music, too, divides sales between Contemporary Christian and Gospel. While there are a few exceptions, Contemporary Christian is typically white artists and Gospel is typically black artists. Out of Eden was perhaps one of the most successful crossover artists in the pasty-white genre of CCM. This was probably due to the success of TLC and later Destiny’s Child on Top 40 stations in the ‘90s. With their third album, 1999’s No Turning Back, Out of Eden began to make a huge impact on Christian music. Between key placements on WOW CDs, compilations of songs that were either the year’s biggest hits or songs that were projected to be big hits in the following year, Christian music video shows playing the video for “Lookin’ for Love,” being featured on SonicFlood’s cover of “I Could Sing of Your Love Forever,” and the multiple radio singles, the trio were one of the biggest acts in CCM. But unlike their secular contemporaries, Out of Eden didn’t produce a Beyoncé. Instead, the group simply retired. Today’s song, “Window,” wasn’t one of their biggest songs, but because it was on a mission trip compilation, I know it very well. It’s cliché, but it’s a song about hope. Although things may look bleak, if we can just hold on a little more, it will get better.


    Read the lyrics on Genius.


     

  • “Rewind” by Pillar, Friday, November 3, 2023

    Pillar’s third studio record, Where Do We Go From Here?, was the band’s stylistic departure from rap-rock. The Oklahoma-based Christian Rock band had begun to breakthrough with their 2002 sophomore record Fireproof, even repacking the album for the general rock market. Pillar worked with producer Travis Wyrick on all of their albums until 2009’s Confessions, and together the band and the producer whose credits include Disciple, Spoken, 10 Years, and P.O.D. crafted an undeniable Pillar sound. The differences between Pillar’s 2002 and 2004 records are mostly the difference in Rob Beckley’s lead vocal styles. On Where Do We Go From Here?  Beckley exchanges bro-rap for melodic singing and a few well-placed screams—most notably on the lead single, “Bring Me Down.”


    IT SEEMS JUST LIKE YESTERDAY. Abandoning the kitschy genre of rap-rock proved a success for Pillar. But it wasn’t just the change in vocal stylings on Pillar’s third album Where Do We Go From Here? that served as an improvement. As an album, Fireproof musically fell flat a few places, which was even part of the reason for re-recording and repackaging the album. However, on Where Do We Go From Here? the guitar tones are much tighter. Producer Travis Wyrick gives the guitars much more space, giving the album a mysterious, almost Twister soundtrack feeling. Where Do We Go From Here? lyrically diverts from Fireproof, trading explicit Christian references for vaguer metaphors. Fireproof feels preachy when Beckley rants about being “one nation under God” and how “In God We Trust” is written on our money in the song “Indivisible.” Instead, we get the band’s hit “Frontline,” a song about spiritual warfare. Both of those songs, however, could work in tandem to promote a Christian youth group zeitgeist of Christian nationalism indoctrination. 


    I’D TAKE BACK THE LIES. A common trope on Christian hard rock albums is the reflective ballad. On Where Do We Go From Here? track four “Simply” begins to take the album’s momentum down a notch with a slow verse that builds into a power chorus. The following track, “Rewind,” fits the Christian radio ballad format. Lyrically, both tracks expose the weak and sometimes clunky lyrical composition of the album. “Rewind” fits into the category of Christian songs that Good Christian Fun’s hosts Kevin T. Porter and Caroline Ely classify as “I’m a piece of shit.” I think of Where Do We Go From Here? solidly as a summer album, but today is a summery fall day. The song is nostalgic for a time when you get caught up thinking about the bad things that you said and did. There’s a ton of Christian songs like this. We’re supposed to think about how our sins have hurt Jesus as we sit in our rooms. For 3 minutes and 43 seconds, I’m transported back to my teenage anxieties, overthinking about how my actions hurt other people. I don’t think it’s healthy, but at least the guitar was pretty.

  • “Let Your Heart Hold Fast” by Fort Atlantic, Thursday, November 2, 2023

    “Let Your Heart Hold Fast” is a song that I first heard on a NoiseTrade sampler and then I heard it in an episode of How I Met Your Mother. NoiseTrade included the song on their Summer Sampler 2012. By December of that year, the song had been included in the eighth season of one of the biggest sitcoms on television. The song comes from Birmingham, Alabama-formed band Fort Atlantic and was released on their debut self-titled record. There is some conflicting information between the band’s biography written on AllMusic profile and their Wikipedia page and BandCamp information.


    SALT AND LIQUID BLEND IN THE CORNER OF MY EYES. According to AllMusic, the band is mainly composed of studio producer Jon Black who sings, writes the band’s songs, and plays most of the instruments on the albums; and drummer Josh Cannon who also adds programming loops into the music. The BandCamp photo shows four band members, and Wikipedia says that Cannon has left the band. Genius, on the other hand, says that Fort Atlantic is a Portland, Oregon-based band, which seems to be completely false. It seems like the band was formed around Black and then Cannon and other musicians were added to tour and record the band’s second studio record. That’s how many bands that form around one person often happen, but I haven’t dug for information to confirm that with Fort Atlantic. According to the band’s Instagram account, though, Fort Atlantic is on hiatus as a project but Black is continuing to work on music. 


    ALL MY DAYS ARE SPENT. We started a month in which we focus on gratitude. “Let Your Heart Hold Fast” is a song about overcoming adversity. The hopeful tone of the song gives me energy to go on and that’s exactly what I need today. I’m in the middle of a season’s-change cold. The year is almost over and the amount of work to get to the end of the year feels insurmountable. And I’m feeling like I need to figure out what I want to focus on for next year, but I don’t have a lot of energy left to do that. Again, the subject comes up, what about my trivial “Song a Day” blog? What do I do with it? Do I let it die and move on to other projects? Do I keep it alive? How do I make it more valuable? I love learning about musicians, but I wonder if I should be broadening or narrowing my focus. I’m going to start enacting some changes in the next few weeks to experiment to see how I can keep this blog going and how it can keep giving me joy. Stay tuned. 

     

    Live:

    Scene from How I Met Your Mother:

  • "Cadence" by anberlin, Wednesday, November 1, 2023 (repost)

     “Cadence” was the third single from Anberlin. Vocalist Stephen Christian talks about the band overhearing him playing the song on an acoustic guitar one day. Thinking the song was too mellow for Anberlin, he thought the song would be better suited for his solo project, Anchor & Braille, but the band loved the song and placed it as the penultimate track on their debut record, Blueprints for the Black Market. The song is inspired by Christian’s time in college when he roomed with his brother, Paul. The brothers talked about life, philosophy, relationships, and God, and the song was a culmination of those late-night conversations. The song features some of the best drumming on the record. Before the band’s livestream of the album Nathan Young, who was fifteen at the time of recording Blueprints, tells a story about how producer Aaron Sprinkle‘s brother Jesse, drummer of Poor Old Lu and later Demon Hunter, was brought in to record drums on the record because Aaron was skeptical of Young’s ability. However, Nathan Young proved himself competent, and his drumming can be heard throughout the entire album. The drums on “Cadence” showed the beginnings of a great drummer.  

    THE CLOSER I COME TO YOU, THE CLOSE I AM TO FINDING GOD.  For me, Blueprints for the Blackmarket, and especially “Cadence” will forever remind me of the trip I took to Florida with my family on Labor Day weekend sophomore year of high school. I can still smell the cheap vanilla air freshener wafting in the back seat of the crammed 1996 beige Toyota Corolla, all three kids, including high school teens armed with elbows fighting to expand their borders. The reason for this trip was to celebrate my great-grandfather’s hundredth birthday. We had certainly taken the twelve-hour trip by car before and it was always unpleasant. Besides the fighting for space in the backseat, there was the downright vicious quarrellings between my parents. It usually started about speed, then an insult to the radio, then a self-righteous accusation followed by an insult of the other’s intelligence. All the while Hall & Oates, Elton John,  Chicago, or some other dull soft rock was blaring so that my sisters and I had to turn up our Walkmans so loud to drown out whatever my mom wanted to listen to. There were a few occasions I was able to sneak Blueprints into the tape player (I had to record albums on tapes to listen to them on trips because we drove old cars), and I got away with it because Blueprints almost sounded like classic rock. But the memories of this trip come from underneath Sony headphones.

    IF THESE ARE MY PARTING WORDS. The weekend is a blur, and I’m left with faint impressions: sweating in a baggy long-sleeved dress shirt newly bought from JC Penny; listening to a string quartet for special music of my grandfather, great aunt, second cousin, and my mom–who had practiced only the night before for hours to make the piece of music work–as a kind of preview for the actual event on Sunday afternoon at the church reception hall; my great aunt MC-ing the event, telling the story of my great-grandfather’s life interspersed with videos tributes, special music –one hymn I played on the classical guitar–, and stories told by elder church members; and the pool party my cousin and my sister and I threw for just us. Then on Monday we drove back home because school started back on Tuesday. Reflecting back on that experience in the back seat of the car, I thought about all the stories about my great-grandfather I heard from my dad when he started dating my mom. My great-grandfather was my dad’s first encounter with a Seventh-day Adventist, and there were quite a few eccentric stories about how many strange things he ate and drank over the years. My thoughts from the back of the car were about how lonely it would be to live to be a hundred. My great-grandfather’s day revolved around waking up early, drinking green slime, studying the Bible, going to church, and going to bed early. Maybe years of the same rhythm made him content. I wonder, to this day, what of my great-grandfather’s story do I want for me; what should I jettison?